The question itself is an indication of greed and an indirect expression of desire to become rich overnight. Yes, now a days, marriages have literally become a platform to rob!
What is the definition for the word ‘gift’? Any language in the world will define it as expression of the love in the form of an object with no demands or conditions.
Let us look into the marriages in our towns. Are the transactions happening under the pretext of ‘gifts’, truly gifts? Are those gifts given wholeheartedly and with love? Are they given without any demand?
The fact is that the bride’s family begs, borrows loan, and sells the ancestral property, spends the savings of entire life just to afford this so called gift! The suitable word for this kind of gift is nothing but the cursed system of ‘dowry’.
The rich use the marriage as a platform to showcase their wealth by giving luxury gifts and arranging lavish celebration. Though they can afford the money for such grand celebrations, it creates a dangerous impact in the society. Because, it is an undeniable fact that poor always imitate the rich. This illogic imitation has already ruined countless number of poor and middle class families.
Many well-educated families too try to imitate this bad tradition endangering their own future. Despite being educated, they are unfortunately unaware the fact that dowry lowers their status and dignity as it is nothing but a different form of begging.
It is very sad that our youth are very short-sighted. They don’t even think that if they allow to continue the evil tradition of dowry, it will surely turn to be a curse for themselves when they become the fathers of girl children.
This practice cannot be eradicated just by a law or with some rules. The elimination of dowry system is possible only by changing the hearts of the people. Every individual should be aware about the evils of this practice. There is need to create widespread awareness programmes in order to establish a dowry free society and a dowry free country.
Is there anyone who can take the lead?
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Marriage is a major step in one’s life. It’s a matter of great responsibility that should by no mean be taken lightly. However, it shouldn’t be complicated to the point if one doesn’t have enough cash to hold an elaborate ceremony with hundreds of guests, one can’t get married.
Quite simply, a marriage in Islam is solemnized by a nikah (marriage contract) and a waleemah (marriage feast) that follows once the marriage has been consummated.
The nikah constitutes of a proposal from one party (eejab) and acceptance from another (qubool) in the presence of witnesses. The walimah is simply a dinner to celebrate the marriage, since marriage is, after all, a joyous occasion.
The nikah can be held at the local masjid or at home, while the walimah can be anywhere: one’s apartment, backyard, or basement, the local masjid, a park, a restaurant, a community center, or anywhere else.
As well, on the occasions of nikah and walimah, long speeches and an elaborate program are not required. Remember, simple is beautiful!
Nowadays, we seem to have been so caught up in rituals and customs that we tend to waste enormous amounts of money and time on things that simply aren’t needed. Nikah and walimah are both sunnahs (traditions) of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), so doesn’t it make sense to try to commemorate these occasions in the same fashion as he did?
Anas (RA) describes one of the walimahs hosted by the Prophet (SAW):
“The Prophet stayed for three days at a place between Khaibar and Medina, and there he consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint Huyay (RA). I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included neither meat nor bread. The Prophet (SAW) ordered for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the Walima (banquet) of the Prophet (SAW).” (Reported by Bukhari)
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