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Wednesday, 19 May 2010 16:58

Women of today are at par with men on every front

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ashika

It was a fine morning, cloudy skies, cool breeze, the pleasant smell of wet soil, one of nature’s finer days. I was savouring the lovely weather with a cup of coffee and reading the morning paper when the doorbell buzzed. It was Aunt Lalita, our very own gossip goose. At forty five years and seventy five kgs, she managed to keep track of not just what happened in our locality but just about the entire Mangalore.


She bursts in, without waiting to be invited. “Inviting is for guests no, I am one of you!”, she gushes. In others words, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not! “Oh it’s so hot! Don’t you have an AC? My son Alok has bought an AC for every room in our house! I’m so lucky to have a son! He’s so smart…” and so the babble goes on. (What Aunt Lalita did not mention was how she denied her daughter future education after her graduation, even though the girl had passed with a distinction and condemned her to a life which included washing the entire house’s clothes apart from other chores!)


I decide I’ve had enough and realize that buying a packet of salt would be a better way to spend my time and so I take their leave. At the supermarket, I meet Uncle Tony and his wife (Mangalore is a small town). “Oh hello there, how are you?”, I reply with the usual greetings and told them I was just fine. “Did you finish your college?”, “Oh yes uncle”, I reply “and I’ve got a job as well”. “How nice, in Bangalore, is it?”, this time aunty asked. “No, my posting is in Delhi and I may have to shift to Punjab too!” I said with a smile. “So far! What did your parents say?”. “They’re happy for me, aunty. Anyway I won’t keep you much longer, take care,” and with that I waved them goodbye and began to head towards the sugar. I had barely made it to the next aisle when I heard them conspire between themselves, “Sending the girl alone to Delhi! Don’t they know how unsafe it is; the place of a girl is at home if you ask me!...” I was stunned to hear them and surprised that folks in the 21st century thought this way and wondered if they would have said the same if it were a boy in my place. Contrary to being happy at my success, they were flabbergasted that my parents had consented to send me to work outside the state.


On my way back home, I pass the house of an old friend of mine and I was reminded of something he once said. He told me that if he had a sister, he would never let her go anywhere alone and if he saw her in the company of any guys, he would bring the sky down. That had left me with a very bad taste in my mouth, especially because he was always surrounded by girls, I guess he never bothered applying his principle to himself. Uncle Tony and his wife belonged to another school of thought to a certain extent, with them belonging to another generation, but what about my friend? He was close to my age, brought up in the best of schools, surrounded by friends with a modern outlook. Then how was it that he shared the ideology of the primitive ages?


Hadn’t we learnt anything over the years? Hadn’t Kalpana Chawla reached the moon, along with her male counterparts? Had we forgotten the strength of character that Indira Gandhi displayed while she was in office? How many Indira Nooyi’s would it take India to realize that an Indian woman could very well take up a job and excel in it, she was blessed with a business acumen too, that perhaps there was more to her life than cooking and cleaning and bearing children. The women of today were at par with men on every front. They are not superior to men, but neither are they inferior.


To all the parents out there who have or may have girl children, thank God for the gift of a child, many others were not as lucky. Realize that your daughter has the potential to be whoever she wishes to be, whether it is a teacher, a doctor, a CEO or even the Prime Minister of our nation. If it is her desire to be a homemaker, that’s good too, but remember, it should be her decision. As parents, all she wants from you is your support and unconditional love. Be the wind beneath her wings and then watch her soar. Help her fulfill her dreams and love her unconditionally, just as you would, had it been a son. And all the while, keep these words in your heart “a son is a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for life.”


With these thoughts I finally returned home, only to find that Aunty Lalitha was still there. “Everyone says Alok is such a handsome boy! Proposals are coming from Australia and Canada. He bought a flat in Bangalore…..” The saga continues, and I wonder if there’s anything else I could buy.

 

Comments  

 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #16 , RE: RE: Women of today are at par with men on every front2010-05-22
but will YOU be able to walk in the dark street of Mangalore @ 2 Am alone. a man can walk there will be no doubt in it.
 
 
Like [1]Dislike [0] #15 , DXB M'lore2010-05-21
Dear All,
Its good you have expressed, But what dose the scriptures say about the topic.

When did the Christians got this freedom. Who gave it.

But Islam has a different view on the subject. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) says this will be one of the minor sign of the day of judgement. please O Muslims, turn Back to the Sunnah.

And Ashika, can you tell me the world has changed a lot, but will be able to walk in the dark street of Mangalore @ 2 Am alone. a man can walk there will be no doubt in it. will you be able to do that. I dont think so. this is what called as nature. if we go against the nature, and if we dont do as the prophets thought us, we will be in big loss.

see the world, it has changed. you can find every product is been sold by showing a female artist. why is it so, because it will be in demand when female comes there. female will attract the consumers..... did you get my point. but it is prescribed for a female to be safe in her house as a queen with the supervision of the male either husband or a father or a brother and so on. so she dont have to do anything for her earnings. Islam prescribes that the wealth of a husband is safeguarded by the wife. and the responsibility of the house is on the husband. If the girl is on her own leg then it is called as fitnah (trials and tribulations) for the mankind. then we will have to wait and watch for the doomsday and it is not so far. Be safe, be with nature.
 
 
Like [3]Dislike [0] #14 , RE: Women of today are at par with men on every front2010-05-21
by reading this article it reminded me the poem of Dr. D. Sadashiva Bhat Bettampadi which was published in 1987 kumaradhara special issue.

ಕಂಕಣ ಕರಗಳ ಕಿಣಿ ಕಿಣಿ ನಾದಕೆ! ಕರೆಯದೆ ಸನಿಹಕೆ ಬಹನಲ್ಲ!!
ಗೊಣಗುತ ಮೊಗವನು ತಿರುಗಿಸಲಾಚೆಗೆ! ಸರಿಯುತ ಚಿವುಟುವನವಗಲ್ಲ
ಅಂತರ್ಜಾತೀಯ ಕಾಗೆಗೂ ಹಂಸಕು! ನೆಂಟು ಎಲ್ಲಿಯದಿ ನಡೆಮೆಲ್ಲ!! ಸಂತೆಯೇ ಸದರವೆ ಏನೆಂದರು ಸಹ! ನಗುತಲಿ ನನ್ನನು ಬಿಡನಲ್ಲ!!
ಕಂತುವಿನರಗಿಣಿ! ಎಂತಹ ಇನಿದನಿ! ಎಂತಲೇ ಹೊಗಳುತ ನಿಹನಲ್ಲ!
ಎಲ್ಲಿಯದೀ ಗ್ರಹಚಾರ ವಿದೆಂದರು? ಮೆಲ್ಲನೆ ತನು ಭಂದಿಪನಲ್ಲ!!
ಜಾರುತ ಬೀಳಲು ಹರೆಯವೇ ಕಾರಣ! ನಿಂದಿಪುದೆತಕೆ ಕಣ್ಣೆಲ್ಲ!!
ಯಾರದು ತಪ್ಪು ಇಲ್ಲ ವಿಮರ್ಶೆ!! ಜನ ಬೋಬ್ಬಿದುತಲೇ ಇಹುದಲ್ಲ!
ಬೆಳೆಸಿದವನು ತಾನೆಚ್ಚರ ಮೊದಲೇ! ತಳೆದರೆ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಭಯವಿಲ್ಲ1
ಮಾಗಿದ ಹಣ್ಣನು ಹಾಗೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟರೆ! ಕಾಗೆಯು ತಿನ್ನದೇ ಇರದಲ್ಲ!!!!
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #13 , RE: Women of today are at par with men on every front2010-05-21
Thanks to all those who posted their comments.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We should realize that we have all been blessed with different personalities. While some people are family oriented, others have a desire prove their mettle in the professional world. Both these fields do not have to be mutually exclusive. In my opinion, it is best to let each discover and decide how they wish to live their lives. This is just my opinion, it does not have to extend to everyone.

Another point, rape is a very sensitive issue with multiple dimensions to it. So lets leave it out of this discussion. I'd be happy to comment on it some other time.
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #12 , india2010-05-20
mr bilal,

i suggest even u should contribute articles u take time to type so much, plz write articles
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #11 arronjournalist, mangalore2010-05-20
everything takes times...
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #10 , ksa2010-05-20
very good article by Ashika,but it not suit for all indian womens,in this society parents are more scared of thier daughters to send far for work,not bcoz of trust,just bcoz of todays unhealthy sorroudings made them to feel.
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #9 , bolar,mangalore2010-05-20
fantestic&gud article
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #8 , indian army2010-05-20
good article & thought well
 
 
Like [1]Dislike [1] #7 , mumbai/mangalore.2010-05-20
well thought about, every1 should decide their freedom to explore the beyond, eliminate diffrences & come to terms with the purpose why we live on earth.


keep writing, good job
 
 
Like [2]Dislike [0] #6 , RE: Women of today are at par with men on every front2010-05-20
SISTER I COULD NOT SEND THE COMPLETE MAIL AS IT BOUNCED BACK TELLING IT IS TOO LONG BUT I COULD NOT GET SATISFIED WITHOUT ENDING THE COMPLETE MESSAGE,

SISTER THERE ARE THOUSAND,& THOUSANDS OF OUR SISTER TOOK SAME STEPS IN THEIR LIFE, SOME TO BECOME HEMAMALINI OR AISHWARYA RAI, OR OR BUT THEY ENDED THEIR LIFE IN RED LIGHT AREA OR BECOME PRAY FOR THE INTERNATIONAL MAFIA GROUP.. FINALLY REACHING THE THIRD GRADE INTERNATIONAL HOTELS....HOW MANY LADIES THE AGENTS CHEATED.. USED THEM AND THROW THEM IN STREETS,TAKING ALL THEIR VALUABLES AND CASH!!
I DONT THINK ANY BODY BECAME WHAT THEY INTENDED!I HAVE THOUSANDS OF SUCH STORIES AND EVEN MET SOME.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BECAME PREGNANT BEFORE MARRIAGE! HOW MANY GIRLS MADE SUICIDE...
SURELY THE TIME WILL COME WHEN A LADY CAN WALK FOR A LONG DISTANCE SINGLE WITHOUT ANY FEAR OTHER THAN WILD ANIMALS. AT THAT TIME I AGREE SISTER YOU ARE 100% RIGHT
 
 
Like [5]Dislike [0] #5 , RE: Women of today are at par with men on every front2010-05-19
SISTER ASHIKA D'SAUZA
I START FROM WHERE YOU ENDED...
a son is a son till he takes a wife,
THAT MEANS THIS DAUGHTER OF SOME ONE WILL SPOIL THE SON OF SOMEONE!!! VERY GOOD.....DAUGHTERS!
LATER THEY ARE TELLING PROUDLY

but a daughter is a daughter for life.”

SISTER TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU SAY!

ANY WAY I AGREE WITH YOUR ARTICLE, FROM ONE SIDE IT IS VERY NICE ..
BUT ONE THING LET ME TELL
EVERY ONE LADY CAN NOT BECOME INDIRA GHANDI OR BENAZEER
EVERYOY LADY CAN NOT BE KALPANA AYYER. EVERY LADY CAN NOT BE SANIYA MIRZA.
OR .. OR ...OR YOU CAN ADD MANY SPECIAL QULITY PERSONALITIES..
BUT EVERY LADY CAN BE A VERY GOOD MOTHER,
VERYGOOD SISTER, VERYGOOD WIFE..
ALWAYS MAJORITY COUNTS NOT THE EXCEPTIONALS.
THERE ARE PEOPLES LIKE HALAPPA IN OUR WORLD..AND MANY YOU READ IN CD YOU GET THE DETAILS HOW THIS ENIMIES OF HUMANITY KILLING THE PRIDE OF OUR SOCITY!

ONCE A PERSON BITTEN BY SNAKE ALWAYS AFRAID OF ROPE...SO YOU CAN FIND DIFFERENT PEOPLES WITH DIFFERENT TALK.

YOUR FRIEND WHO IS SURROUNDED BY GIRLS KNOWS WHAT HE DO WITH THEM SO HE WILL NEVER ALLOW HIS SISTER TO BE WITH OTHERS MEN....... LIKE HIM!

SISTER WHEN THE TRUE GOD FEARING DEVELOP IN THE MIND AND HEART OF EVERY HUMEN BEING I AM 100% WITH YOU UNTILL THEN FOR ME IT IS VERY DIFICULT TO ACCEPT IT.
.
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #4 , RE: Women of today are at par with men on every front2010-05-19
I think there are reasons why these elders talking one another but we should not take it for granted. They knew what would be the outcome if a lonely girl choses to go out for a long period of time for work on her own + with her families backing because of their experience. I do not say that its a bad idea to work far distance places, nowadays because of on going development jobs are spreaded around the world and the access is quite easier due to communication and convenient transportation facility.
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #3 , KWT2010-05-19
Fantastic
 
 
Like [1]Dislike [0] #2 , Dubai2010-05-19
Ashika D'souza it was the good article......but, but womans have more responsibilty inside home also, i have seen a free woman who is independtly working forgets her responsible towards her family. Even though nowadays boys & girls go step to step, there many basic differnces between men and woman.
 
 
Like [0]Dislike [0] #1 , KSA (RUH)2010-05-19
Ms.ASHIKA D'SOUZA i think some of the points in your article are strange.I agree with you that a decission of a girl should be herself to chose her career since it is her personal life.Her Parents also cannot force you that you should act according to the will of your parents.A mature girl understands very well what is right & wrong so the parents should not force a girl child but parental control is a must whether he is a boy / girl.
 

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