Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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News Network
December 3,2025

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Mangaluru, Dec 3: A group of Congress workers gathered at the Mangaluru International Airport on Wednesday to welcome AICC general secretary K C Venugopal, but the reception quickly turned into a display of support for Deputy Chief Minister D K Shivakumar.

Venugopal arrived in the city to participate in the centenary commemoration of the historic dialogue between Mahatma Gandhi and Narayana Guru. The event, organised by the Sivagiri Mutt, Varkala, in association with the Mangalore University Sri Narayana Guru Study Chair, is being held on the university’s Konaje campus.

KPCC general secretary Mithun Rai and several party workers had assembled at the airport to receive Venugopal. However, the moment he stepped out, workers began raising slogans backing Shivakumar.

The university programme will be inaugurated by Chief Minister Siddaramaiah.

This show of support comes just a day after Siddaramaiah remarked that Shivakumar would lead the government “when the high command decides.” The chief minister made the comment after a breakfast meeting at Shivakumar’s residence—another public display of camaraderie between the two leaders amid ongoing attempts by the party high command to downplay their leadership rivalry.

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News Network
December 1,2025

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Udupi, Dec 1: A horrific case of alleged rape has unfolded in Udupi, where a worker from a Hindutva organisation, previously arrested and released on bail for harassing a young woman, is now accused of waylaying and sexually assaulting her.

The arrested individual has been identified as Pradeep Poojary (26), a member of the Hindu Jagarana Vedike's Nairkode unit in Perdur.

Poojary had allegedly been relentlessly harassing the young woman, pressuring her to marry him. When she bravely stood up to him and refused his demands, she filed a formal complaint at the Hiriyadka police station. He was subsequently arrested in that initial harassment case but was later granted bail.

According to police reports, driven by the same malicious grudge, Poojary allegedly intercepted the woman again on November 29. While she was walking through a deserted area, the accused is claimed to have threatened her by grabbing her neck. When she again refused to marry him, he allegedly proceeded to rape her.

The survivor immediately informed her family about the traumatic assault. Following this, her parents lodged a complaint at the Udupi women’s police station.

Police arrested Poojary again and produced him before the court. He has since been remanded to judicial custody.

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News Network
November 27,2025

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Authorities at Pakistan’s high-security Adiala Jail in Rawalpindi on Wednesday dismissed speculation about the condition of imprisoned former Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan, rejecting rumours that he had been moved out of the facility or was in danger. Officials said Khan was in “good health” and described the viral death claims as “baseless.”

“There is no truth to reports about his transfer from Adiala Jail,” the Rawalpindi prison administration said in a statement, according to Geo News. “He is fully healthy and receiving complete medical attention.”

Amid swirling rumours on social media, Imran Khan’s party, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI), urged the federal government to issue an official clarification and demanded that authorities allow his family to meet him immediately, Dawn reported.

The frenzy began after Khan’s three sisters called for an impartial probe into what they described as a “brutal” police assault on them and other PTI supporters outside Adiala Jail last week. Soon after, several social media handles circulated unverified claims alleging that Khan had been “killed” inside the prison.

The rumours intensified when a handle named “Afghanistan Times” claimed that “credible sources” had confirmed Khan’s “murder” and that his body had been moved out of the jail — allegations that have not been verified by any credible agency.

Imran Khan, PTI’s patron-in-chief, has been lodged in the Rawalpindi prison since August 2023 in multiple cases. For over a month, an undeclared restriction has prevented family members and senior PTI leaders from meeting him. Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa Chief Minister Sohail Afridi has reportedly been denied access despite making seven attempts.

In a letter to Punjab Police Chief Usman Anwar, Khan’s sisters — Noreen Niazi, Aleema Khan, and Dr. Uzma Khan — said they were “peacefully protesting” outside the jail when police allegedly launched an unprovoked assault after streetlights were switched off.

“At 71, I was seized by my hair, thrown to the ground and dragged across the road,” Noreen Niazi said, alleging that other women present were also slapped and manhandled.

Adiala Jail officials reiterated that speculation over Imran Khan’s health was unfounded and insisted that his well-being was being ensured, Geo News reported.

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