The voice against dowry has become mere a cliché nowadays, as countless articles are written, speeches are delivered and fatwas are issued condemning this menace by the ulemas and scholars of Muslim community.
But in fact our struggle against this anti-Islamic tradition is confined to mere articles, speeches and fatwas. Unfortunately any serious step is not taken by us to eradicate this menace from our community and to establish a dowry-free society so far. One can proclaim that this kind of lip-service and unproductive behaviour is the main reason behind the biggest socio-cultural problem and economical imbalance of the Indian Muslims including NRIs.
Yes, most people speak and preach against dowry but in practice they make huge demands at the time of their sons’ marriage! Without any hesitation, we can say that our community suffers from many social evils and superstitions. Dowry system is one of these great evils. The problems and counter-products of dowry system are obvious:
It has become very difficult to find a suitable match for a girl without paying huge amount of dowry. It has soured the relations and there are tensions, ill-will and disharmony in the families. Marriage has become a kind of business and exploitation of the parents of a girl.
Marriage is no more a religious bond that forges happy relations between man and woman but a business transaction, a convenient means of exploitation. It is distressing that very highly educated and well off parents too do not hesitate to turn themselves beggars and demand huge dowries.
Due to dowry harassment, many poor girls opt for either running away with someone or enter into prostitution or even commit suicide. But we don’t care. We do worry a lot and get upset when a Muslim sister elopes with a non-Muslim guy, but we do not have any worries about those Muslim sisters, who are leading their lives with utmost patience, remaining unmarried even as they attain the age of 40.
The practice of dowry is a good example for anti-Islamic mentality of Indian Muslims. The problem of dowry continues even after marriage. Women are harassed, ill treated and insulted if they fail to bring in sufficient dowry. Dowry mongers demand more and more of it even after marriage. It has turned many families encounter a hell-like experience.
In most cases, it is the ladies who demand dowry, because they were also a victim of dowry system. Lavish marriages are another reason for dowry. Just because rich people spend lavishly on marriages, poor people are compelled to conduct marriages in a grand manner by borrowing money at high interest rates.
The girl’s father sells all his properties, borrows money at a high rate of interest to arrange for his daughter’s marriage and he suffers to repay the loan for many years to come. In some other cases, the girl’s father goes begging in order to make financial arrangements for his daughter’s marriage and gets loan at a heavy rate of interest.
Dowry is damaging the total economy of the family here and it is reaching the pinnacle as families are losing their own houses where they live.
Fortunately, very recently, as a sign of hope, there is much more awakening amongst younger generation. But it is just a beginning. They too are facing difficulties to stand against dowry. Some young men argue that they don’t want to take any dowry but can’t stop their parents from asking and it is their duty to respect parents.
So in an effort to respect parents and to conform to cultural norms, Muslim youth in India are bending over backwards to follow traditions that aren’t even rooted in Islam. Demanding dowry and getting married may seem valid in the eyes of many, but will the marriage be validated in the eyes of Allah?
The young men should frankly reject the demand for dowry from their parents. Demand for dowry reduces a party to a status of a beggar. The evil should be fought both on the levels of law and society. A very strong propaganda and movement is needed to eradicate the evil completely.
Even though dowry is illegal by law and religion it is treated as part of religious and cultural custom in our society. The helpless laws are openly violated. There are thousands of cases of dowry every year and only few offenders are actually punished. Hence, it is clear that laws alone cannot do anything. Besides laws, we need more social awareness and effective social measures. We should start a campaign against the system and ultimately turn it into a strong movement. This movement should be taken from cities to villages.
More ulemas, qazis, muftis, social groups and especially younger generation should be involved in the movement against the evil. Society should dare to boycott those people who practice dowry system.
Let us not succumb to the practice of dowry and let us stand firm in practicing Islam by enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong!
Let there arise out of you A band of people Inviting to all that is good, Enjoining what is right, And forbidding what is wrong: They are the ones To attain success.' (Holy Qur'an- 3 : 104)
The author can be contacted through the following email address : [email protected]
Come, let us join together to build the FUTURE of our community and not ruin it.
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