Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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coastaldigest.com news network
November 28,2025

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Udupi district transformed into a sea of saffron and celebration on Friday, November 28, as Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s roadshow swept through the coastal temple town. Thousands of residents lined the streets, turning the event into a vibrant public spectacle filled with cheers, flags, and festive energy.

The procession route—from the helipad to the historic Sri Krishna Math—was decked with buntings, saffron flags, and multilayered security barricades. One of the district’s largest-ever security deployments was put in place for the high-profile visit, with over 3,000 police personnel on duty. The arrangement included ten SPs, 27 DSPs, 49 inspectors, 127 sub-inspectors, 232 assistant sub-inspectors, 1,608 constables, and 39 women staff.

Six platoons of the Karnataka State Reserve Police, six Quick Response Teams, bomb detection units, and dog squads were stationed across Udupi. Enhanced surveillance covered Adi Udupi, Bannanje bus stand, and the Sri Krishna Math parking zone, with combing operations carried out along the roadshow corridor.

At the 800-year-old Sri Krishna Math, preparations reached a ceremonial peak. Paryaya Puttige Math seer Sugunendra Teertha Swamiji said the Prime Minister would take part in the Laksha Kantha Geetha Parayana, a mass chanting of the Bhagavad Gita by one lakh devotees, and inaugurate the new Suvarna Teertha Mantapa.

“He will first offer floral tributes to saint-poet Kanakadasa and then unveil the golden covering over the Kanakana Kindi,” the seer said.

The Prime Minister will also receive a Poorna Kumbha welcome and have darshan of Lord Sri Krishna, Mukhyaprana Devaru, and the Suvarna Paduke. Union Minister Pralhad Joshi, Karnataka Governor Thaawarchand Gehlot, Minister Bairathi Suresh, Dharmadhikari D. Veerendra Heggade, and seers from the Ashta Maths are expected to join the ceremony.

Ahead of his arrival, the Prime Minister posted on X that he felt “honoured” to attend the spiritually significant gathering. “This is a special occasion that brings together people from different sections of society for a recital of the Gita. This Matha has a very special significance in our cultural life,” he wrote, noting the institution’s long-standing legacy rooted in the teachings of Sri Madhvacharya.

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News Network
December 5,2025

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New Delhi, Dec 5: IndiGo CEO Pieter Elbers issued a public apology this evening after more than a thousand flights were cancelled today, making it the "most severely impacted day" in terms of cancellations. The biggest airline of the country cancelled "more than half" of its daily number of flights on Friday, said Elbers. He also said that even though the crisis will persist on Saturday, the airline anticipates fewer than 1,000 flight cancellations.

"Full normalisation is expected between December 10 and 15, though IndiGo cautions that recovery will take time due to the scale of operations," the IndiGo CEO said. 

IndiGo operates around 2,300 domestic and international flights daily.

Pieter Elbers, while apologising for the major inconvenience due to delays and cancellations, said the situation is a result of various causes.

The crisis at IndiGo stems from new regulations that boost pilots' weekly rest requirements by 12 hours to 48 and allow only two night-time landings per week, down from six. IndiGo has attributed the mass cancellations to "misjudgment and planning gaps".

Elbers also listed three lines of action that the airline will adopt to address the issue.

"Firstly, customer communication and addressing your needs, for this, messages have been sent on social media. And just now, a more detailed communication with information, refunds, cancellations and other customer support measures was sent," he said.

The airline has also stepped up its call centre capacity.

"Secondly, due to yesterday's situation, we had customers stranded mostly at the nation's largest airports. Our focus was for all of them to be able to travel today itself, which will be achieved. For this, we also ask customers whose flights are cancelled not to come to the airports as notifications are sent," the CEO said.

"Thirdly, cancellations were made for today to align our crew and planes to be where they need to start tomorrow morning afresh. Earlier measures of the last few days, regrettable, have proven not to be enough, but we have decided today to reboot all our systems and schedules, resulting in the highest numbers of cancellations so far, but imperative for progressive improvements starting from tomorrow," he added.

As airports witnessed chaotic scenes, the Directorate General of Civil Aviation (DGCA) stepped in to grant IndiGo a temporary exemption from stricter night duty rules for pilots. It also allowed substitution of leaves with a weekly rest period. 

Civil Aviation Minister Ram Mohan Naidu has said a high-level inquiry will be ordered and accountability will be fixed.

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coastaldigest.com news network
December 2,2025

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Udupi, Dec 2: A wave of regional pride is sweeping through Udupi district as Shagun S Verma Hegde, a talented Class 9 student from Christ King English Medium High School, Karkala, has been named the captain of the Indian National Team for the Under-15 Girls’ Volleyball Championship.

Shagun holds the unique distinction of being the sole player from Karnataka selected to represent the country in the prestigious international tournament. The championship, organized by the School Games Federation, is scheduled to take place in Shangluo, China, from December 3 to 13, where Shagun will lead the national squad.

A Remarkable Journey to the Top

Shagun’s selection is a testament to her dedication and exceptional skill on the court. Her journey included several rigorous rounds of selection:

•    She was the only player from Udupi district to qualify for the state-level selection camp.

•    Out of eight players from Karnataka who advanced to the national selection camp in Pune, Maharashtra, Shagun was the only one to secure a place in the final national squad.

•    The national camp saw participation from approximately 200 players, which was shortlisted to 23. Shagun not only made the final cut but was also ranked as the second-best player overall, solidifying her leadership role.

Shagun, who is the daughter of Sandesh Verma and Shruthiraj of Kallotte, Karkala, has trained under experienced coaches Santosh D’Souza, Jeevan D’Silva, Jairaj Poojary, and Ramesh. Her selection as the team captain has brought profound honour to her family, school, the Udupi district, and the entire state of Karnataka.

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