Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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News Network
February 4,2026

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An Indian resident who won the Dh20 million (approximately Rs 50 crore) jackpot in Abu Dhabi's Big Ticket draw has told of his joy at sharing his life-changing fortune with a friend.

Shanthanu Shettigar, a shop manager in Muscat, regularly buys tickets for the monthly grand prize draw with one of his closest friends – and the pair won on February 3.

Mr Shettigar, 33, who is from Udyavar in Udupi district of the southern state of Karnataka and has lived in the Omani capital for eight years, said he was left speechless after learning of his success.

“When I first moved to Muscat, many of my colleagues were purchasing Big Ticket, which encouraged me to give it a try,” he said.

“I started buying tickets on my own, and later began sharing tickets with a close friend. The ticket that brought me this win was one we purchased together.”

“Like most people, I receive a lot of spam calls, and I was fully absorbed in my work as well. I knew the live draw was taking place tonight, but I never imagined my name would be announced,” he said.

“When I realised it was real and that I had won, I was honestly speechless. It still hasn’t fully sunk in, but I’m extremely happy.”

Mr Shettigar is not sure how he will spend his share of the money, but encouraged others to take part.

“This win was completely unexpected, so I want to take some time to think things through before deciding what to do next,” he said.

“I would definitely encourage others to participate with Big Ticket, whether with family or friends – you never know when your moment might come.”

The Big Ticket was established in 1992 with an initial first prize of Dh1 million. It is one of the most popular monthly raffles in the UAE.

It has transformed the lives of many people across the Emirates and beyond.

Entry to the Big Ticket Millionaire is Dh500. Tickets can be bought online or at counters at Zayed International Airport and Al Ain Airport.

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News Network
January 23,2026

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Prime Minister Narendra Modi, during his visit to Thiruvananthapuram on Friday, January 23, indicated that the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) is aiming to expand its political footprint in Kerala ahead of the Assembly elections scheduled in the coming months.

Speaking at a BJP-organised public meeting, Modi drew parallels between the party’s early electoral gains in Gujarat and its recent victory in the Thiruvananthapuram Municipal Corporation. The civic body win, which ended decades of Left control, was cited by the Prime Minister as a possible starting point for the party’s broader ambitions in the state.

Recalling BJP’s political trajectory in Gujarat, Modi said the party was largely insignificant before 1987 and received little media attention. He pointed out that the BJP’s first major breakthrough came with its victory in the Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation that year.

“Just as our journey in Gujarat began with one city, Kerala’s journey has also started with a single city,” Modi said, suggesting that the party’s municipal-level success could translate into wider electoral acceptance.

The Prime Minister alleged that successive governments led by the Left Democratic Front (LDF) and the United Democratic Front (UDF) had failed to adequately develop Thiruvananthapuram. He accused both fronts of corruption and neglect, claiming that basic infrastructure and facilities were denied to the capital city for decades.

According to Modi, the BJP’s control of the civic body represents a shift driven by public dissatisfaction with the existing political alternatives. He asserted that the BJP administration in Thiruvananthapuram had begun working towards development, though no specific details or timelines were outlined.

Addressing the gathering at Putharikandam Maidan, Modi said the BJP intended to project Thiruvananthapuram as a “model city,” reiterating his party’s commitment to governance-led change.

The Prime Minister’s visit to Kerala also included the inauguration of several development projects and the flagging off of new train services, as the BJP intensifies its political outreach in the poll-bound state.

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News Network
February 3,2026

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Kasaragod: An 18-year-old girl was stabbed to death at Thuminad in Manjeshwar panchayat on Monday, allegedly by her father following a domestic dispute. 

The victim has been identified as K U Mariyamath Jumaila. Her father, Umar Farooq, has been taken into police custody, Manjeshwar Station House Officer Inspector Ajith Kumar P said.

According to the police, Umar Farooq had been working in a West Asian country and returned home about three months ago. 

Family tensions reportedly escalated after his wife, Thahira (41), decided to seek a divorce and asked him to leave her life. Kasaragod district panchayat member Harshad Vorkady alleged that Umer was addicted to marijuana and frequently caused disturbances at home.

On Monday, Thahira asked Umar to come to her sister’s house in Thuminad to discuss the dispute. Jumaila accompanied her mother. 

Manjeshwar panchayat member Illiyas Thuminad said Umar arrived along with his brother, following which Thahira handed over gold ornaments and property documents to him and asked him to sever ties with her.

However, the police said a property dispute had been ongoing between Umar Farooq and his sister-in-law’s husband. During a heated argument, Umar allegedly attempted to attack the man with a sharp weapon. When Jumaila intervened to stop the assault, she was stabbed in the neck.

The teenager collapsed after bleeding profusely and was rushed to a private hospital in Mangaluru, where doctors declared her dead. Her body was later shifted to Mangalpady Taluk Hospital for post-mortem examination.

Jumaila was a former student of Sirajul Huda English Medium Higher Secondary School, Manjeshwar. 

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