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Friday, 19 March 2010 14:16

Relationships – changing with time

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sana_shaikh

You spot your special someone for the first time, and the world comes to a standstill, and your favourite romantic track begins to play in the background, next thing - he sees you, and the sky is illuminated by fireworks. This one’s for the ultra quixotic populace. For the rest of us, we keep spotting them; sometimes we take note, sometimes they do. Finally, somebody realizes it’s worth the try, and takes a step ahead and sometimes it works, sometimes it works much later, sometimes it works with somebody else – but it works alright.

Successively come the most beautiful inclinations of the social angle of your existence. The creative and ‘could-have-done-better-without-trying-to-be-creative’ techniques of saying “will you go out with me,” and the wonderful ways of saying ‘yes’ - thespian and crazy, or the over-subtle and expressionless, or the closer to sanity, smiley and amorous. From here kick starts your love story, the chronicle of the good and bad/sad/boring/irritating fractions – depending on how long you’ve been dating - of both your lives entwined.

All your first time experiences, or your first’s with this someone, depending on how socially flourishing you’ve been, take flight from this moment - your first date, your first time holding hands, your first peck, your first kiss, your first I LOVE YOU and other bits and pieces, like your first time getting caught by somebody you didn’t tell (read ‘parents’), first big fight, first time you wanted to bang their head against the wall and hit them so hard that.., well, just hard enough.

On a more serious note, you’ll find your days filled with all these colours that you never knew existed, and a hundred thousand additional emotions that crop up from somewhere deep inside your own little heart, and each time you perceive the musical whisper of an I love you from that one soul, your heart beats a little faster, and there’s this weird kind of warmth that packs up your heart – I do not get how it’s possible, but really, and then you congregate all those hundred thousand emotions and deliver the equally perfect and heartfelt, I love you too.

A new found relationship is one of the most exhilarating things to happen. You never know what could ensue – one minute its perfect, the very next you have a tiff; one minute you’re defending yourself, a second later you’re saying sorry; one minute you’re eating a hell of attitude, and the very next, you’re down on your knees begging.

Even then, those love filled moments surpass every other practical ruling. You may get stuck having to listen to your friend grumble about her boyfriend/his girlfriend, and you’re just wondering in full volume in your head, then why are you together, and you realize, oops, you just said it out loud! Regardless, the immediate next day, you get some valuable data reminding you how adorable, kind, loving, thoughtful and everything good on the globe that person is, and you go like, what the heck, why bother?

Let me explain. From all the excitement, to all the joy of a relation, to the steady pace of commitment, to fights, and arguments, and taunts, and dying understanding, to a ray of hope, to the joy of giving, to the beauty of understanding, is the miracle of love.

With time, comes this false feeling of the attachment going stale and bland. Nobody likes it ordinary. But you know what, love does not fade with time, it just has this new dimension, the part wherein it dawns upon you - from here on, you’ve reached a whole new level, a bit of a new world, where you’ve got to grow up a little, and just end your hunt for anything new, and try and comprehend the actuality - that this person by your side has been there for so long, that this person doesn’t have to, but still is…

It’s messy though, if someone special and close to you falls in love, they’re in high spirits alright, but you, you’re stuck listening to over-sentimental sagas, sometimes tragedies, you’re duty-bound to help with surprises (like the-first-time-we-held-hands anniversary) that you don’t care about, being calm and composed even though all of this is really getting to you now.

In the end, they’re the ones who get to live happily ever after.

(The views expressed by our contributors in their articles are of their own and not necessarily of Coastaldigest.com)

 

Comments  

 
+1 #63 , bangalore2010-03-30
hey hi

bravo!!!! liked ur article out there hmmm it sure did fill a kind of a new hope in me do keep me updated....take care all the very best...
 
 
0 #62 , Pune2010-03-29
My! thats one real big comment you got there! thanks man!!! Hey, and that love-never-fades part is my favorite too...and ya, it being or not being a fairy tale is entirely dependent on the perspectives of the two people. You don't have to do anything, or change anything, all you have to do is look at it differently, and if you can, then you've definitely got something going! Thanks again, apurva.
 
 
+3 #61 , Mumbai2010-03-29
Hey Sana!
Just want to tell you that this is one of the best articles i've read on relationships in a long time... the way you've expressed all the ups-n-downs, the highs n lows, the good n the bad sides of a relationship is amazing. The best part is, tht u have also written from the friend's point of view. So, a lot more people can identify with the article and can actually enjoy it. Also, the humorous bits really worked in favour of the article, infact, i have got to admit, i cudn't stop smiling while i was reading it.
Would love to read more of your articles so please, keep writing... n entertainin!
 
 
0 #60 , Pune2010-03-28
Hey viraja!
I'm glad it got posted, finally! phew!!

And about what you said, thanks man! just can't tell you how very happy I am to know that its kinda touched your life in a very personal manner! I feel real good you know! and about the critism bit, i'll sure as hell keep that in mind..thanks for checkin this one out, and continuously trying to post, really really appreciate it!
take care, and will definitely let you know!Ciao!
 
 
0 #59 , Pune2010-03-28
Hey! ayesha...thanks!
 
 
+1 #58 , Bangalore2010-03-28
Love is a topic close to every teenager's heart...
And Hey starlet, BRAVO!!!
You have described it (and touched our hearts) like a pro!!
What an sprucely penned article!!
I think that you've actually set a benchmark for all those writing &blabbering about Love &its facets; who all, far against the reality mostly have a fairy tale to tell!!
Man!The way you explained how Love never fades with time&just gets a new dimension was charismatic!!
I mean it was so thought-provoking that even Singles like me are tempted to think ki-"Yar shayad yeh relationships itne bhi boring nahi hote...bus unko Sana ke angle se dekhne ki jarurat hai!!"
&You know what i think?!U SHOULD try ur hand at "graffiti"....cause U r one potential spontaneous thinker i tell u..
Still CANT take my eyes off the end of 8th para....loath to leave!
I can exactly understand how difficult it would have been to trim down the end...
I guess the Key to the great appeal of your write-up is the way it manages to balance dynamic prowess with a polished&unruffled train of thoughts....
This aticle was a real gripper Sana!
..A PERFECT amalgamation of amazing application of vocab&an extremely realistic way of expressing one's thoughts...exaggeration hardly there!
Its really still lingering over my mind!!
Looking forward to get some more refreshing stuff from U..Probably on a grander scale!!...&for that Wish u all the good luck bud!!Love ya loads!
 
 
+2 #57 , Dubai2010-03-28
Heyy Sana,i just hope this gets posted...tired of trying to put it....
Now getting to the point, let me tell you that reading your article is an completely exhilarating experience...experience that gives you Love-info which is so pure,so divine,so TRUE...
Extremely relatable to every bit of my own relationship.....
&u must know something-
after being there in a relation for almost two yrs now, with more lows than ups, i thought of just givin up altogether...thought theres no fun left,its just rotting day after day...But after readin your article i have to confess that you've really changed my view girl...cause by the end of it,from my heart i sensed a new kind of spark of feelings gushing up for him...cant tell you how thankful i am...
Just a thing more, for your improvement-
you wrote unimaginably well but I feel it could have been more lucid&commonable if you would have shortened the sentences a bit and put them in parts...cause in longer ones it becomes monotonous&loses the grab..
Now criticism apart, overall i just loved it!!
And am definitely gonna keep a follow-up of ur write-ups...if possible please keep me updated....Good luck ahead...
 
 
+2 #56 , India2010-03-27
hey sis, you did very well! very cool...
 
 
+1 #55 , Pune2010-03-27
Hey sana really beautifully written..i liked it very much..congrats..
 
 
+1 #54 , Bombay2010-03-27
Hey Sana,
Good...really good...Had a smile on my face after reading it...very well expressed...

peace...
 
 
+1 #53 , Pune2010-03-26
Fat chance it's because of the flash cards, it doesn't seem to help ME much!
Sure will let you know for sure! Are we referring to the same friend? (don't act too smart, or i'll kill you!!!)
 
 
+1 #52 , Pune2010-03-26
Thank you loads..! When i got people like you around, i've got absolutely no reason to be worried! Love you too, so so much!
 
 
+2 #51 , Mumbai2010-03-26
Hey Sana,
I never knew you had such brilliant skill of expressing feelings.....
A true master piece...
Hope this helps me find my better half soon....
 
 
0 #50 , RE: Pune2010-03-25
He is the one we both know i guess.And i say again,great vocab.Seems like some of the GRE preps rubbing off.On a serious note,Id love to read more of your writings.Lemme know.
 
 
+2 #49 , Mumbai2010-03-25
Sana, dear u jus amaze me thru ur writings...as always. I always used to acquire a gud vocab lyk u got...while i was reading it,I seriously thot that all dat u wrote wud end at a bitter note...mayb like a "not-worth-it" or "jus-happens-in-fairy-tales"...but thanx to you...u still got +ve vibes ... thnx 4 not being a pessimist...love u loads n as usual d article is colossal of all ur writings i've read. All d best n keep writing..i njoy readin urs... Miss u..
 
 
0 #48 , Pune2010-03-24
Thank you so so much! will definitely let you know when something else comes up!
 
 
+2 #47 , MUMBAI2010-03-24
Hi Sana
all things have two sides of the coin, so need not worry. Good start keep going and keep penning. lots of love and blessing from all of us.
 
 
+2 #46 , Mumbai2010-03-24
great job sana,an excellent write up..precise and straight from the heart..made me nostalgic..awesome..keep up the good work..continue writing..keep me updated..

all the best,
 
 
+1 #45 , pune2010-03-24
hey doctor,
amazing piece re.you are a surprise package, n'est ce pas?!! you have expressed so well what i have heard so many of my married friends relate. cool!!
 
 
+1 #44 , Mumbai2010-03-23
Dear Sana,
A very well penned and thought provoking article. Keep up the good work.Keep me updated each time you write...
 
 
0 #43 , Pune2010-03-23
hey, vijay!
Thanks for checking this one out!
and yeah, your last line..tell me about it..!
You should also send this link to your friend through whose experience you could relate stuff..
 
 
+1 #42 , Pune2010-03-23
Voila! I always knew you could write well Sana,but this well?trust me,no clue!
Amazingly penned!it was like the flashback of my first time.the up's and down's,and the whole new dimension of love in the concluding para was just so true..the fact that you penned it down so beautifully made it sound even better.

keep giving me updates about the articles you write henceforth.Keep it up!

cheers!
Love!
 
 
+1 #41 , Bombay2010-03-22
Hey,
Well written article!And its so cute.Amazing vocabulary.I could even relate to a few parts and the others through my friends experience.Though I have to admit I found the comments a tad more interesting.Looking forward to reading your poems too now.

And I have to say this to Imraan though.Religion is not meant to be merely followed,but applied.And for this face it needs to evolve with the times.Cause in the end the purpose of religion is to help us lead a more purposeful and fullfilling life.

And sana,keep writing.I wouldve been happy if people commented only regarding the article.
 
 
0 #40 , Pune2010-03-22
Thank you so much! It's more than just amazing to be appreciated and encouraged. And yes, your absolutely correct, it is actually a teenager's understanding of whats happening around. And considering everyone has been through the same phases in life, i guess it's a bit of everyone's story!
 
 
+1 #39 , KSA2010-03-22
Hai!
Sana, first i appreciate your writing skill. Don't worry about the critics. "You have written an article that's why there are comments".Your article shows that students do experience such feeling. Feelings are unimaginable everyone comes across many in real life. God have given us knowledge and wisdom to think and do better for self and others.
Sana, everyone cannot write its a gift. keep going.All the best.
 
 
0 #38 , Pune2010-03-22
Hey Sana,

What an amazing article! I had no idea that you are such a good writer.It was a very enjoyable read. I think the best part is that a lot of people can relate to it.
Looking forward to many more interesting articles.
 
 
0 #37 , Pune2010-03-22
hey there mayank! really, thanks loads!
 
 
+1 #36 , Mumbai2010-03-22
Hey Sana! Nice article....as i already told you, but the comments surprise me..i never thought that an article about love could invoke religious sentiments.

Well anyways good work with!!
 
 
0 #35 , Saudi Kayan2010-03-22
Javed,
Think that we all are in one ship which is in middle of the sea now, in that you have seen water flowing inside the ship from a small hole, now its the time to alert all about the leakage, if you will not inform to captain of the ship or anybody, the water will increase and it may cause for our death in middle of the sea.
sometime you need to raise your voice or else your ship will be in trouble.
Hope you understood what it means.
 
 
+1 #34 , mumbai2010-03-22
hey amazing article....
very well written
loved every bit of it.
 
 
+2 #33 , Dubai2010-03-22
Bro Imran
Let us be practical the girl in question has penned an article to a minute detail with great linguistic skill and has rekindled many old flames. It doesn’t in any way give coaching classes as how to fall in love step by step so put your wild imagination to rest.
About Hijab, may I point out that Allah has ordained hijab first to men read "Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is Aware of what they do." Holy Qur'an (24:30) then it was ordained on women…
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. ( Soorah-e-Ahzaab, verse 59)
As I understand Hijab is to dress up oneself modestly and appropriately covering all parts of body except face and forearms, without showing one's figure or curves and without using any sort of make-up. The Hijab could be of any form and color, a one-piece chader or a three-piece ensemble, as long as it is not tight fitting and does not attract people’s attention.

About photograph: The girl in question is still a teenager and will eventually grow up and know her roots, cornering her in public domain will serve no purpose other than induce revolt. Almost certainly a head scarf would have enhanced and increase the glow of her face and probably wouldn’t have invited your comment too
 
 
0 #32 , Pune2010-03-21
hey aradhana! thanks for appreciating and acknowledging the article. Such a change from the recently developed monotony of comments. thanks again.
 
 
0 #31 , Pune2010-03-21
Hey there...thank you so much. I'm glad you've taken the article in the true spirit...!!!!
 
 
0 #30 , mumbai2010-03-21
well wriiten sana..!!
loved every bit of it..!!
loads of love..and always do well..!! mwah..!!
 
 
0 #29 , mumbai2010-03-21
hey its an amazing write up....potrays a train of vexed emotions that one undergoes in a relationship...that are so true...
.....loved ur article...keep persuing with it....
 
 
-2 #28 , Mangalore2010-03-21
Hi everybodoy. There seems to be a lot of understanding and misunderstanding here. I appreciate everybodies thought.

Dear Sush - U extract this from Quran (Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them)

Just note What Sana Says (You spot your special someone for the first time, and the world comes to a standstill, and your favourite romantic track begins to play in the background)

I would like to say that if you lower your gaze and guard your modesty then there is no question of spotting someone special for the first time (or second time, third time or last time). And there will not be all that which is mentioned in the article.

I would say if there is no islam in you then you must know islam. Just saying inshah allah , masha allah doesnt work.

May allah Guide us in the right path.
 
 
+1 #27 , Shillong2010-03-21
Hi sana,
Lovely article, totally relatable!
However, the ups-and-downs you mentioned remind me a lot of my friend and his gf as this is pretty much how they'd describe their relationship, i'll surely forward them this article.
Enjoy :)

@Imran - Spare us the criticisms, to each his own!
 
 
0 #26 , Saudi Kayan2010-03-21
If this article penned by a non Muslim okie I can agree that she is not aware of Islam and its principles.
Your article encourages pre marital relationships.
which is prohibited in our religion, dear Sana think that your pen is like a water, if u put it in proper place you can create a beautiful garden, if you use wrongly those waters may become waste lake.
Don’t waste your talent giving writings on those feelings which is not accepted in Indian culture and especially our religion, this is all about western countenance.
 
 
+1 #25 , RE: Relationships – changing with time2010-03-21
grt piece of work....amazing true facts...
keep writing.......tc
 
 
+3 #24 , Pune2010-03-21
Mr. Imran,

Islam primarily prescribes modesty rather than just forcing the wearing of a particular garment. And Modesty is the purity of thoughts and manners, without drawing unnecessary attention to oneself. In the final judgment, it is between me and my God, my conscience and him, and not me and you.

I do believe that this section is dedicated solely to comments on the article. If you wish to deliver personal advice, understand that I also happen to have an email address.

I do not get how it is okay for Muslim men to meet non-Muslim women who are not veiled and treat them agreeably, but not accord the same kind of treatment to Muslim women.

I would like to remind people once again, that the article is not based on the Hijab or Islamic teachings. Please do read the heading again and comment, so it may help me improve as a writer.

Thank you.
 
 
-2 #23 , Saudi Kayan2010-03-21
Azriel Mumbai, i dont know about your religion but Islam is one religion and doesnt appeal to individual in different ways, when you say you are a muslim then you need to be model to others or else it named " naam ke waaste musalman".
you said modern thinkings, dear in islam there is nothing called modern thinkings, either you are a practicing muslim or a non practicing muslim.
there is nothing called moderate muslim or modern thinking muslim.
Its nice to see young lady article, it shows the young muslim women ability in writing skills, i appreciate her effort and i request her to use this talent in religion and support our community to uplift those who are lacking with these talents. there are many examples like Malayalam poet Kamala Surayya. a non muslim reverted to Islam and died as a muslim.
when they are attracted to islam and served the muslim society by their writing skill then my thinking is why we cannot do this.
 
 
+1 #22 , Mumbai2010-03-21
Dear Imran,
Accepted that you may be a follower of your religion down the last alphabet but I urge you to accept the fact that religion appeals to each person differently.To each one his own.Also some people choose to adapt themselves to modern times and their surroundings and learn to keep an open and broad minded perspective in life.

Also if you choose to preach religion,I suggest you do it in the right places, not in a public forum where comments are meant for articles.Additionally passing personal comments is not a very courteous thing to do.
 
 
-3 #21 , Saudi Kayan Al Jubail2010-03-21
Dear Sush, I dont wheather your are a muslim or not, if you are a muslim you should not pass wrong message without reading it clearly first of all you mentioned surath name wrong al muminun, i suggest you to read it once again its in Surat An-Nūr (The Light), anyhow hijab is the safety and self protection gifted by Allah, if you denie it he will denie you. so dont go against what he said.
Follow the original scriptures hadees and Qoran ask your friends to do the same. dont follow Imran or Sush just follow the original scriptures.
 
 
+10 #20 , Shimla2010-03-21
Dear brother Imran, glad to see that you are discerning about good writing and an exploration of thoughts and their appreciation. Enjoyed reading your comment , ( minus the typos, of course).

Next time I hope that you will be more discerning and chivalrous about commenting on a public forum about the personal appearance of a young girl and thereby show yourself to be a perfect brand ambassador for Islam and Muslim men. Inshah Allah.

I am sure that you are aware that maintaining HIJAB is also about lowering your gaze and casting a veil of restriction upon your mind, thoughts, words and deeds. (Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them:(Al-Mu'minun 24:30)
 
 
+1 #19 , Pune2010-03-20
Buddy! thanks for checking it out!!! Love!
 
 
+2 #18 , Mumbai2010-03-20
Hey Sana,
the article is amazing!!specially the second last Para...!!

good going buddy!!
keep writing !

Love,
 
 
+10 #17 , Shimla2010-03-20
Well Done Sana!! Great exploration of relationships and the changes happening over time and the effects on the people involved and (unintentionally) on those around. Loved the bit about someone who doesnt have to be at your side but still is, after all the buzz, that is what remains and is the real miracle of love. I agree. And that is happiness of the everlasting kind. A blessing from God and a blessing to those involved and those who observe. :)

Love the tongue-in-cheek comments from the perspective of the non-involved and reluctant spectator of the people inside the bubble of love. Overload of cuteness. And how can one help but smile at the hope and the joy, and wish them that special magic in their lives?

Hope to share more of your thoughts. Keep spilling more ink, or shall I say the pixels.

S
 
 
+4 #16 , RE: Relationships – changing with time2010-03-20
Hey, awesome writing skill..amazing article..I like the flow of though and the language with which you put it forward.I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article and it strikes me as very deep and very true.It completely reminds me of my relationship actually!
Best of luck and i hope to read many more articles from you. cheers!!
 
 
0 #15 , Pune2010-03-20
Well, thank you so much. and without the slightest shadow of doubt, love hasn't change and nor will. I'm overjoyed to have read your comment.
 
 
0 #14 , Pune2010-03-20
Hey arron! Thank you loads. I'm completely delighted to know you enjoyed it!
 
 
-6 #13 , SAUDI KAYAN Jubail.2010-03-20
Sombedy given appreciation, smbdy enjoyed reading ur article, aroon spleanded with shayari,, everything was perfect except one.
The way you appeared in the pic, dear sister Sana hope you understand very well, next time i hope you will be appearing like a brand ambassador of muslim women with Hijab.
Insha Allah.
 
 
+3 #12 , mangalore2010-03-20
bahut dino baad pyar phir yaad aaya,
dil mein kahin chupa tha
apne phir se jagaa diya
phir se yaad aayi woh gadi
jab woh hame chod chale the
aaj bhi karte hain hum pyar
yaad dundli si ho gayi thi...
lekin ye apne phir se yaad dilaya...
thanks for ur article... really nice work...almost went down the memory lane:-)
 
 
+1 #11 , Mumbai2010-03-20
very nicely penned!!!
keep it up!!
waiting for more of your articles to come.
 
 
+6 #10 , Dubai2010-03-20
Amazingly beautiful article and beautifully said.... looks like a heart felt / divine revelation. Passage from the article has sucked me in to the days of my teenage... where were you or the author of your kind in eighties... many of my generation needed a helping hand...definitely since my days the world has changed but love hasn’t nor it will. May the wisdom prevail in arriving at a right conclusion?
 
 
0 #9 , Pune2010-03-20
Hey ashish..thank you so much...it was meant to be a fun and light read, and it's simply great to know it got you remembering your good ol'days!
 
 
+2 #8 Shammy, mangalore2010-03-19
well said sana keep going thanks cd brings us this kind of article, rem our childhood.
 
 
0 #7 , RE: mangalor/ksa2010-03-19
Well, this one is definitely from my personal understanding. And thank you so much for appreciating the writing! will try and keep a varied mixture of articles coming your way...
 
 
-2 #6 , Mangalore2010-03-19
Every human being invariably experience love in their life. Relationship is indeed a beautiful experience which could take away some of our personal loneliness. Since Allah has prepared boys and girls both physically and mentally to be bond as a permanent couple through marriage. All the moment in life as listed by the writer can be experienced through marriage. Even it is enjoying the pleasures of songs, stories and many more.

These boy friend and girl friend are very serious issues which are revolving around us nowadays. People who partake in intimate relations before marriage are doomed. We shall not get heavily influenced by a highly sexualized society and have to take initiative to take these bad thoughts away from our head. If anyone is more passionate about such relation i suggested them to get marry and then love each other dearly!
 
 
0 #5 , mangalor/ksa2010-03-19
I APPRICIATE THE WRITTING SKILL.BUT THE THEME SHOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT.I WISH SHE CHOSE A DIFFERENT AREA OF STORY. SEEMS LIKE ONE WRITES HIS/HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.

ALL THE BEST.
 
 
+1 #4 , INDIA2010-03-19
hey doc !!!


well written, nice article, for those in luvvvvv !!

by the way the thing in which u explained the miracle of luv was the best i liked. !!

keep writing, young talent !!

rgrds,
 
 
+2 #3 , Pune2010-03-19
Hey Sana ,

Wonderful piece !!! i Almost re-lived my first time... :)

i think you can start writing more often ... would love to read more.

bien écrit.
 
 
0 #2 , RE: mangalore2010-03-19
thanks armaan..i am completely aware of what you're saying! may allah guide us..amen!
i'm so glad u liked the writing.
 
 
-1 #1 , mangalore2010-03-19
Good writing skills and lanuguage sana

However, the boyfriend-girlfirnd stuff isnt going to help us. More often than not such relationships turn out to be mere time pass stuff.

It is against our values too. Its true tht Allah has created men and women with tht attraction for the opposite sex as one of their innate qualities. But that attraction and need must be satisfied through marriage, and not indulging in pre marital affairs and even post marital.

May Allah guide all of us...
 

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